Leaves become companions I look for during my walks with the dog.
This is a habit from my youth – when I was a child, I had many friends among the fallen leaves.
My social circle gets smaller and smaller every day. Soon it will be me and the dog. And I’m sort of ambivalent about the dog.
It was quite possibly at least half true that she shopped online so that her personal email inbox wouldn’t look depressingly void. Spam was becoming her new friend.
My mother never talked about her past and I knew almost nothing about her.
She was this person who seemed to let life’s accidents shape her – and I was just one of the many mistakes that occurred during her lifetime.
Then she developed Alzheimer’s and was doomed to live in the past all the time.
By then, she only spoke in this strange dialect of her own – skipping every two or three words, misusing the ones she did say out loud in her thick accent. I would close my eyes to catch every word and make sense of it – but too many pieces were missing and I never puzzled it out.
Trapped as she was in her own past, she still didn’t share it, and nearly all of it died with her.