She had been trying to look for a new job … without a lot of success. Nothing seemed right. Things didn’t pan out. The timing was bad. It wasn’t a smart move.
And then it occurred to her that maybe it was not working out because what she was really looking for ( feared the most ) was a new purpose.
I misplaced my drivers license for several hours yesterday and it was just a little bit liberating to think that, for a little while, I could be nobody.
Lately, when I am in social settings, instead of trying to share things about myself, I just recite snippets from NPR shows I’ve listened to during my drives.
Disembodied voices sharing the news have become integral parts of my personal life.
Plus not much is happening to me most days…
two girls, one about to go to college
a chronically ill dog
countless bills and things that break –
one indivisible momma
three hours short on a good night’s rest
thirteen chocolate-covered almonds
five heavy cups of coffee
just making the 124-mile round trip
daily, home to office to home
Classic clusterf*ck cooking from Working Mom Crocker over here ….. I spent all day laboring over dinner, only to forget the five-minute boxed stuffing mix I promised to make for my youngest.
I was halfway into eating my pile of mashed potatoes before I remembered. Which launched the girls into a whole funny retrospective of all the odd food things I’ve done – or not – over the years for my single-mom holiday festivities.
Luckily, the younger one is more forgiving than the older child, and we managed to eat the rest of the meal with more chuckles than anything else. The homemade chocolate cake at the end especially helped.
After which I wrestled with the ham bone for the rest of the meat in order to make cheesy casseroles, hearty soups and crusty sandwiches the rest of the week. And turned on the dishwasher for the second time today. And flipped through a recipe for Christmas breakfast.
I find the provisioning of food – and all that it entails – for hungry teenagers to be maybe the most relentless and arduous task, one from which I get almost no relief.
Is it time to go back to work yet?
i actually thought i might try having new years’ resolutions again.
but then i realized that “taking a year-long vow of silence” and “do not spend any more money on nonsense” probably wouldn’t last long. nor would “only wear PJs”…..
i could see that i would need to modify my ambitions to withstand the assault of the real world. maybe it could be:
“do not talk unnecessarily, especially to people who annoy me”
“do not buy anything except the bare essentials – like books and alcohol” and
“only wear comfortable clothes that could easily be mistaken for PJs”
…. maybe then i would have a chance. i mean, it just seemed like life was getting to be too short to waste on extra stuff like small talk and trendy styles.
I think Christmas ornaments become more beautiful with age.
This holiday season, she was seeing more and more houses poxed with moving red and green dots. Call her old-fashioned, but she much preferred the homely strings of lights tangled across uncooperative bushes.