I am climbing so slowly
I am barely moving
He waits quietly for me to catch up
We rest for a moment
We sip water together
Then we continue in silence
He, pacing himself to stay next to me
We climb toward the mountain top
Where I know he will leave me and
I will stay to love what is left behind
He says, “She knows she hates you – but she understands she needs you.”
He pauses to rethink this declaration. “Well, maybe ‘hate’ is not the right word. Maybe what I mean is that she’s just really angry with you. ”
I interrupt, “It’s okay, Jonathan. I believe it’s the right word. Please continue.”
And I close my eyes to hear this therapist I’ve never met tell me through the phone all about the incomprehensibly tangled story of a broken bond between a mother and a child.
“I see glimmers of progress,” he offers in conclusion.
But I know he doesn’t mean for me.
So I go back to my work, and I work extra late that night to make up for the sadness that gnaws away my productivity.
Don’t ask me why, but there is something about finding a typo that gives me a sense of professional purpose – like I might actually be useful in a practical way.
My favorite time of year …. and I bought my pumpkins today.
I tell myself that one day my daughter’s traits will serve her well as the head of a company – or even maybe a small banana republic.
But for now, her skills are just massively impeding my ability to parent.
She really detested corporate euphemism.
Every time she heard senior management talk about “transformation,” she felt sick.
They made it sound like everyone was going to come out as beautiful butterflies on the other side of it, but she knew well enough that it just meant a bunch of them would be fired.
It seemed that the fewer the items on her “to do” list, the less capable she was of finding time to accomplish them.
she wanted to be grateful, but somehow she kept sliding into tepid apathy.
Needless to say, the dog has more instagram followers than I …..