Note to world #9354

She found it, a local restaurant with serious health violations. It was also by the way the only little warmly lit beacon of late night sustenance for miles around.

She had worked well past regular dinner hours in a town she didn’t know much about.

And she was famished.

E. coli be damned, she thought and she pulled into the parking lot for some hot germs with a side of spicy bacteria.

Stunt woman

this is the liberation i want:

when i let go, there is

nothing i can amend

until i come crashing

down : this is the fall, where

released from the confines

of earth, nothing holds

together anymore; i tumble apart

and drift down instead like

soft dust in a sunbeam

My day

The lost couple, they remind me

that kindness cannot be rushed.

I stop to help them and miss

my chance to cross with the light.

So we all walk across the next time

and I hear about their life together.

The cabbie, he gives me backseat lessons

in god, forgetfulness & blessings.

Forgetfulness is god’s reminder that

we are wonderfully imperfect,

he says when we take a wrong turn

and he turns off the meter altogether.

The commuter, she stoops down

in humility to tie a homeless man’s

shoes, asking with care whether

she has tied them too tightly and

how he likes the laces knotted

while she and the man cry together.

The dancer, graceful but aged

speaks of mentors, blurry ghosts on

a screen behind her, and the beauty

they bring into her world, gifts

she carries in her very movement,

words and memory talking together.

Journey

Today the earth held me

while I danced to the sound of drums

while I hiked through the still of winter

while I rounded breath through body

Today there was no ending

Only beginning, again and again

As the earth held me tight

Tomorrow, a promise on the cusp

Cold season

She has an entire 12- step program of denial :

1. Take a hot shower. Many things can be worked out in the shower. Even viruses! Especially if she talks to herself. Humming and singing are optional additions to this round of denial.

2. Drink coffee. Because mostly she’s just really really tired.

3. Eat something. Then at least she knows it’s also not just because she’s hungry and cranky.

4. Stretch. Maybe she’s just been clenching her entire body all day and that’s why she’s all achy.

5. Breathe. Deep and long, even just the rhythm can distract her from really thinking about what’s going on. Though truthfully, this could also be labeled “big sighs” – which she does all the time.

6. Walk around. Because sitting is the new smoking. And [insert other phrases from wellness articles she’s read recently]. Plus check out the crappy average 51 steps recorded for each of the last 4 days on your iPhone health chart. Yikes. Problem obvious !

7. Consult the internet. Type in a random sampling of ailments, just in case she’s overlooked some treatment that isn’t normal. Consider seriously whether she has a confluence of rare and deadly diseases instead of the common cold.

8. Meditate. Different from just breathing because she’s now actually trying to clear her mind. Except she has to abandon this effort 30 seconds in because she can’t breath through her nose.

9. Rub random parts of the body. Ideally against door jambs and hard furniture. Nothing distracts from pain better than different pain.

10. Drink water. [More unrelated wellness thoughts here]. She’s just sort of delirious now anyway – so a little water can’t hurt anything.

11. Wait. Pretend that steps 1-10 require time to kick in and that nothing else should be done until these are given a chance to work their magic.

12. Nap. See point #2.