do the math

two girls, one about to go to college
a chronically ill dog
countless bills and things that break –
one indivisible momma
three hours short on a good night’s rest
thirteen chocolate-covered almonds
five heavy cups of coffee
just making the 124-mile round trip
daily, home to office to home
and again

Note to world #4438

Classic clusterf*ck cooking from Working Mom Crocker over here ….. I spent all day laboring over dinner, only to forget the five-minute boxed stuffing mix I promised to make for my youngest.

I was halfway into eating my pile of mashed potatoes before I remembered. Which launched the girls into a whole funny retrospective of all the odd food things I’ve done – or not – over the years for my single-mom holiday festivities.

Luckily, the younger one is more forgiving than the older child, and we managed to eat the rest of the meal with more chuckles than anything else. The homemade chocolate cake at the end especially helped.

After which I wrestled with the ham bone for the rest of the meat in order to make cheesy casseroles, hearty soups and crusty sandwiches the rest of the week. And turned on the dishwasher for the second time today. And flipped through a recipe for Christmas breakfast.

I find the provisioning of food – and all that it entails – for hungry teenagers to be maybe the most relentless and arduous task, one from which I get almost no relief.

Is it time to go back to work yet?

note to world #2184

i actually thought i might try having new years’ resolutions again.

but then i realized that “taking a year-long vow of silence” and “do not spend any more money on nonsense” probably wouldn’t last long.  nor would “only wear PJs”…..

i could see that i would need to modify my ambitions to withstand the assault of the real world.  maybe it could be:

“do not talk unnecessarily, especially to people who annoy me”
“do not buy anything except the bare essentials – like books and alcohol” and
“only wear comfortable clothes that could easily be mistaken for PJs”

…. maybe then i would have a chance.  i mean, it just seemed like life was getting to be too short to waste on extra stuff like small talk and trendy styles.

note to world #2205

It was quite the morning.  Usually, I have to drive a very long distance to work but today I was taking a train – which is sort of a treat for me.  I can let my mind wander and not worry about crashing into anything.

But then I found myself discussing with a total stranger the best way to get to the office, based on the likelihood of getting blown up or not by random violence.  When he wondered aloud about the specifics of a particular commute strategy based on whether there were more attacks planned or not, I knew I was not having a normal day.

And any pleasure I derived from the train ride was completely gone.

Note to world #4493

She knew she had a tendency to buy socks and tights when she wasn’t feeling good about her weight – after all, socks were mostly one size and her feet rarely got chubby … the last time being almost 20 years ago when she had been pregnant during a hot summer.

But when she started unpacking all the boxes from her online shopping adventures and wrapping holiday gifts, she realized she had unconsciously purchased over 10 pairs of socks and tights for herself over the last few weeks – and pretty much nothing else.

Maybe she should return all the socks and buy some sessions with a personal trainer instead………..