Of all the technological advances and clever innovations, there still wasn’t one that solved her urgent need for a bathroom when she was in the car. So, until then, she just wasn’t going to be impressed.
My trade in life, 20 years of it
demands that I deliver
both brevity and clarity –
I am constantly
parsing and whittling,
editing myself down to the one
perfect – but ordinary – word
that says everything that once was stated with 30.
And then there’s my own personal penchant for sparsity and nuance.
Any novel I might have once
held inside of me
has been reduced to a few disjointed blog posts.
By the time I finish some projects,
I actually delete the whole thing
and have nothing.
Or I don’t write enough and
no one knows what I mean;
they fill in the spaces between with
their own thoughts.
But its not just my writing.
It’s also what I do in my dealings with other people.
I don’t say enough.
Or I’m worried I won’t make sense so I refrain.
Maybe I finally decide to say nothing at all because
it isn’t going to make a difference
and in the silence, I am interpreted and inferred into
something that is not my own.
I’m quiet a lot.
Feeling too much perhaps.
But very quiet.
i am restless,
out of place, so
i dream about moving to a town
so far away and small that
i am unknown — where the
only talk at the local diner is
the weather and coffee refills
but i stay here instead, practiced
pleasantries obscuring quiet
hope in a swirl of spoiled
I walk the entire perimeter of the cafeteria.
I almost eat a salad (!).
But eventually I reach for a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Why? Because by lunchtime, I have succeeded in working myself into a sappy sack over sad old memories and things I can’t fix and stuff I’ve lost. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that PB&J can make so many sad things better.
here i am, internet surfing for garb for my upcoming ‘life-force yoga’ retreat. and i guess i’m learning that it’s a ‘thing’ that all yoga tops must be shaped like loose spider webs that hang off your breasts. and i suppose no regular shapely and firm yoga-doing person cares much that i hate spider webs and that the last thing that hung off my boobs was a nursing baby who won the Nobel Prize in Physics for her contribution to the study of the acceleration of mass toward gravity. and i wish i had paused – for even just one moment – before saying yes to something i had honestly thought was a “star wars” trilogy movie marathon weekend for ladies.
moment of bliss,
best cut with a