Note to world#7438

At a time when I need an extra day of the week wedged somewhere magically between Friday and Saturday, I’ve been losing time to migraines. Even with the powerful medication I take, hours sink into a black pit of foggy pain pulsating at the edge of my brain.  

When I am mid-migraine, I hate the way it makes me crumble in weakness and agony like a horse whose legs buckle midstride.  I get up anyway and push through the pain and the medicine, knowing that there will be empty spaces in my memory spool when I come around again.  I feel that my brain is being eroded by the pain and the drugs and that when I revive, I will be a little less of my former self.  Always, always on the outside of myself, to watch this degradation of self and strength is frustrating and cruel…I mean, at least they shoot horses. 

But that’s the subject of an entire movie, isn’t it ?  

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3 thoughts on “Note to world#7438

  1. I’m so sorry to hear you suffer from migraines. I hope it’s not your body’s way of slowing you down, nor your mind’s way of changing a course that you don’t like; judging from my own body and mind and their trajectories, I can only say anything is possible. And though you’ve probably also heard this a million times, are you sure it hasn’t got anything to do with not hydrating enough?

    1. thanks for your concern – I appreciate it. I was having quite a pity party when I wrote that. All manner of theory have been tested somewhat exhaustively. At least, I feel exhausted by it all. I’m relatively healthy and hydrated – especially because I get these migraines, I try to take better care. The medicine is the only thing that makes a dent in the pain and also slows the frequency of them. Good to check everything though

      1. Aw, I was afraid of that. 😦 Oh heck, from all I’ve heard of day(s)-long migraine pain, it’s a very good reason for a pity party!

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