For eons, I have been trying to set resolutions at the start of each new year – and struggling mightily. I generally default to the same nonsense nearly every bleak January – being kind to myself and others blah blah blah. But today it occurred to me that I most often feel really itchy for change right about now — based on the cycle of the academic calendar – even though I haven’t been in school for several decades. Every September, as children head back to their desks, I suddenly realize that the year is actually almost over and I haven’t one iota of anything to show for it. Each fall, I reflect on the hundreds of hours I’ve blown planning for Things to Come that have no lasting importance in the world; how many naps I’ve taken when I could have been Doing Something Vital. And then I make a mad dash for measurable progress toward some goody good goal before December 31 – as if though I desperately need tax credit for self improvement in the current fiscal year of my otherwise mundane existence.
When January finally arrives, I’m frankly tapped out for ideas on enlightened self-discovery – and too cold and tired to try so hard. Maybe next year, my resolution will be to defer all thinking on the subject until September rolls around again.