Maybe it should have unnerved her that several livery drivers sent her texts and emails with various holiday greetings. But mostly it depressed her. She figured that, of all the screwed up things in her love life, weird paternalistic male drivers who tried to befriend her via social media was likely the least of her romantic problems.
Something about vacation always made her suddenly need to clip her nails. Maybe because, away from the press of the ordinary, she finally focused on her personal grooming – which also meant that for the other 350 days of the year, she showed up for life with wet uncombed hair, a dab of Chapstick charading as makeup – and dull ragged nails.
She was most decidedly not feeling christmas-y spirited. Presents looked like recycling waiting to happen and every hour brought a new request from her children for food, relief from modern existential boredom or some other physical or emotional nourishment. She felt hungover with fatigue, if such a thing were possible, and really wanted someone else to be mommy for the day so she could sit idly on the couch, sip hot tea and empty her mind of all its jumbled thoughts and crumply half ideas.
when day yields
quickly to darkness and
dawn comes too slowly to
break her despair
she cries softly into the
folds of her sheets
until sadness is coaxed into
muffled restless slumber
The new company was intense in its indoctrination, and her colleagues urged her to drink the Kool-aid. She took a few ghastly sips of it, but the truth was that she still preferred coffee.
She sat dumbly at her desk, dim and quiet.
Any words that she had were trapped inside her fatigued brain, too tired to cross the threshold of her lips. And even the ones that managed to escape the thick haze of her mind would not do so in any order that made sense.
Typing out incoherent messages was pointless as well, though she could at least blame her errant autocorrect function for that.
The work day seemed to stretch endlessly in front of her and how to survive it was a pressing question. So she decided that today would be a day of listening – a corporate value, no less – but whether she heard anything would be an entirely different matter.