Note to world #1043

Today, my life changed.

Today, I found out that a Dunkin Donuts glazed donut has fewer calories than a plain bagel. And I mean plain, plain, like: no butter, no cream cheese, no nothing. Just mildly stale bread with a big air hole in the middle.

In fact and incredibly, the MORE junk on top of the donut, the healthier it seemed. A chocolate glazed donut covered with rainbow sprinkles appeared -at least in terms of calories- to rival those disgusting dry bunny salads I have seen impossibly thin women munching around town.

Oh, these facts were game changing for me. Just earth shattering.

I glanced around at the other customers to see whether they too knew this bold fact. No one else seemed excited but that was probably because I was last to know …! Where had I been !?!

So it was just me, shifting around on my feet in a secret tiny happy dance as I plunked down money for a cup of coffee and an old fashioned donut.

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