Note to world #1602

The babysitter was managing to poke and pinch the grumpy mother every morning with one irritating thing or another, usually before the sun even rose. Worse, it had become irrelevant whether the babysitter was being reasonable or not. The grumpy mother could no longer expect maturity to her own reactions.

So the grumpy mother trundled off to the train in the husky dawn and spent an unhealthy part of every long commute unraveling herself from the day’s incident. She debated how much was her own doing and whether her views could be cast differently or she could do something in a new way. She expended a staggering amount of emotional and intellectual energy on the subject. Too much — until that became the reason she had to make a change : she needed to stop thinking so hard about it.

In the end, she parsed it just so: everything she was clinging to in the current relationship could have a more positive side to it. Of course she valued the stability of having the same babysitter – which at certain low points was known as inertia. She feared what other chaos she might create in the upheaval of switching – sometimes simply called change. And doubted whether a grumpy mother such as herself could handle all that at one time, along with all the other unsettled turmoil in her existence – except she had a really good track record of multitasking and problem solving.

And this started grumpy mother on a whole different cascade of grumpiness : she marveled at the fact that this was just how grumpy mother grappled with her dynamic with the babysitter, with whom she wasn’t having sex or in love. No wonder grumpy mother was so terrible at romantic relationships. Oh: And her poor children, who couldn’t even break up with their grumpy mother. Even the nutty dog and the stinky fish suffered in the world grumpy mother imagined during the train ride.

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