Grumpy mommy recipe

Time: 8 hours

1 giant Halloween party
12 screaming girls
2 sassy but useful teenage girls
1 loud stereo with bad teen music
2 slices greasy pizza
1 Swedish fish
1 handful jelly beans, assorted flavors
Unknown quantity of addictive potato chips
1 large cup of very strong coffee

Mix party, screaming girls and teenage girls in one big room. Add loud music. Run after girls while wolfing down the pizza slices. Yell at all children during the evening in between munches of potato chips. Take giant swigs of coffee and wish for an alcoholic beverage instead. Pop in the Swedish fish and jelly beans for energy and sustenance at the end of the party while you clean up sticky messes. Forget to go to the bathroom for the entire evening. Let mixture sit overnight. Wake up grumpy and nauseated and make pancakes for breakfast amid the post-party debris.

Serves everyone.


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